Today's appointment

Has it been a month? How has it been a month? Oh no, it has been a month and now you have to take my bloods again!


That is what I said to my midwife this morning. A month has truly already gone by since they told me that my iron levels were looking a little low and recommended that I start taking the iron supplement Floradix. I had asked if I could try to get my iron levels up through diet and I had every intention of doing so. I was going to eat leafy greens daily and do all my cooking in cast iron pots and pans and make sure I ate my Total. Well... I DID eat my Total. And I did my cooking in cast iron approximately 25% of the time. I never did eat anything green and leafy.


That reminds me, I keep hearing that pregnant women will crave what their bodies need and that women should just listen to their bodies. Wouldn't you think that my body would have told me to eat more spinach this month? Instead it told me that I had a severe Ding Dong deficiency.


Anyway, she took my bloods and told me that I would get a call in a few days. The good news is that Babbit has returned to optimal birthing position and will most likely stay that way.

Practice makes perfect

Babbit-fetus is doing a lot of practicing in there. She practices sucking her thumb, which is cute, so that she will know how to eat. She practices blinking her eyes, which is neat, so that she will... um... blink and not be a creepster. And she practices peeing, which is gross because then I think she might drink it again? I hope she doesn't do that when she is earthside.

Anyway, all of this practicing also includes "practice contractions", or Braxton Hicks. Several times a day, I get a contraction that sometimes feels like nothing and other times feels very uncomfortable. It's more likely to happen if I am dehydrated, so I keep trying to stay on top of my water consumption. It's a little difficult because I am supposed to be drinking at least 70 ounces of water a day. I don't usually keep track because I don't like to micromanage my diet, but I thought I would give it a shot today because these contractions are starting to drive me crazy, especially when they cluster. I already feel a little lost though... I drank a cup of coffee. It had water in it, does that count? What about milk? Or a grapefruit? Stupid confusing water.


Results of the waterlog:

I drank exactly 70 ounces of fluids yesterday, not counting the cup of coffee or the citrus fruits I ate yesterday. So, it seems like I am doing fine.

Note: It was kind of fun drinking out of a beaker all day, but I really do hate to pay such close attention to what I eat and drink all day. I'm going to go back to eating and drinking when I am hungry and thirsty since I seem to be doing alright.

Maybe it just means she'll look like her dad?

Congratulations to Tom and Amy, whose little baby girl was born yesterday :) I can't wait to meet her.

I am a little jealous of Amy because she had prophetic dreams of her baby that proved true throughout her pregnancy. I'm starting to hope my pregnancy dreams DON'T come true, however. Here is a quick sketch of my most recent reoccurring dream:





Oh, please don't let me birth a bearded baby.

oh no no no no NO

Babbit WAS being a good bjaby. Since week 28, she had been head down in the perfect position for easy, uncomplicated birth (well, as easy and uncomplicated as one can reasonably expect...) Now I am 31 weeks pregnant and she has decided to be a BAD BJABY.

Mike and I were snoozling on the couch yesterday evening, watching movies and eating popcorn when Babbit, I guess, got the sudden urge to cuddle with Dad for a change. She didn't let the fact that I am not immaterial stop her, either. As I cried out in surprise and discomfort, Mike put his hand on my belly and felt her yank her head from my pelvis and shove it into my side. And thus she has remained:



Babbit, this is your captain speaking. If you don't go back to optimal birthing position in the next couple of weeks, you are grounded for life. Anytime you don't get your way and you ask me why, my reply will always be the same-- "Because you were a bad bjaby who moved to transverse position in the last couple of weeks before birth, thereby necessitating abdominal surgery on your poor, long-suffering mother. That's why." Nobody wants that Babbity Babbit. So just you go back now.

Pregnancy is gross, like most of nature.

It's hard not to notice when you are reading your library of pregnancy and childbirth books that pregnancy is absolutely disgusting. There is nothing prim and ladylike about it. Besides the obvious-- harboring another lifeform as it transforms from tiny speck to little tadpole to weird chickenwing to deformed Ken doll to big giant baby, all the while mutating your own body in strange and horrible ways-- the pregnancy experts didn't exactly go out of their way to make commonly used pregnancy terms palatable. There are some truly revolting terms being casually tossed around here. Some of them might even gross out that weird kid on the middle school bus who used to turn his eyelids inside out.

Here is a sampling of pregnancy vocab for you:

Afterbirth
Amniotic fluid
Bloody show
Mucus plug
Placenta
Vernix



In the interest of being fair and balanced, I would give you a list of the pleasant-sounding pregnancy terms, but there aren't any.

I put up a poll where you can vote for your favorite disgusting pregnancy word. Have at it!

Are you there, God? Then where's my motherly intuition?

The other night, before I laid me down to sleep, I asked for a sign or a message or SOMETHING that would tell me what this baby's name is. I was getting desperate and wasn't I owed SOMETHING by now? Haven't I suffered? Haven't I sacrificed? Where is my magical reward?

Anyway, I fell asleep immediately, which is typically the case nowadays, and I slipped into a dream. In the dream, I asked God (who appeared in the movie-conventional sea of blindingly white light) what my baby's name was. God started to answer and I realized that this was it. I was about to find out! In a matter of seconds, I was going to know my child's name and not only that, it was going to ordained by God Hisownself! I was thrilled.

And that's when I woke up.


I don't know who or what is toying with me, but I hope you're enjoying your little games.

NYC trip

Mike and I went with some friends to NYC yesterday to see a taping of a comedy show. It was our first time in the city and it was very sparkly and full of lights. It was cold, but I didn't mind since we were doing so much walking. We ate delicious food, watched ice-skaters at Rockefeller Center, saw the Empire State Building, Time Square, and then hurried on to wait in line for the taping. We waited for about an hour in a tiny room with the 105 other people who were also sitting in on the taping. The room was so packed and stuffy that I thought I was going to faint a couple of times. Finally, the stage manager opened the doors and let us take our seats.

The warm-up comedian busted Mike's chops a little about the way he was dressed (he said that Mike looked like he was pretending not to be rich and that he probably wrote love sonnets at home, which was just bizarre) and Mike responded that if he did, then it must have worked since I was 7 months pregnant. The comedian worked some material off my pregnancy and then advised us to name our daughter "Uncle Tony" so that she would remain chaste.

The actual taping of the show was so fast. It began and then it was over. They didn't need to do any retakes at all.

After the taping, we found a cozy (mostly empty) Greek diner. I ordered grape leaves and a sundae. The grape leaves were so good, I wish I had ordered 5 dozen more. I should make some soon. After dinner, it was really late and we still had to take the subway back to the car and then drive back to Philly.

That was the longest I have stayed up this entire pregnancy and I was so exhausted. I had braxton-hicks contractions all the way home from all the walking and from not drinking as much water as usual. Bed was so nice once we finally arrived home. I immediately fell asleep, only to awakened a moment later by Mike who informed me that I was snoring. I mumbled something about him just being jealous and immediately fell back asleep.

Hospital tour, pt 2

I survived the hospital tour, "bad" weather and all. The maternity staff seems very laid back and reasonable. The rooms are not as cozy and intimate as the rooms at the birth center, but they aren't horrible. They are very big with a hospital bed and a pay-per-day TV. The room is for labor and delivery and postpartum stay and the baby rooms in with you. Two guests at a time are allowed in the room after delivery, not including grandparents. The ward isn't as pretty as the one Charlotte had Jakob in, but you can tell it probably was in the mid-90s.

Mike and I saw a fresh baby, all piglet-looking and swaddled, being taken into the nursery for oxygen. The nursery was pretty empty and the floor was quiet. I think there were only two mothers in the ward, both recovering from c-sections. I heard this is common since doctors like to be free for the weekend, so if you show up in labor on Friday, you are pretty likely to get a c-section. Maybe it is true or maybe I should stop reading pregnancy boards full of paranoid, hormonal women. Maybe it is both. In any case, it makes me feel thankful that I am having the baby with a midwife, so if I DO have to have a c-section, I will know that it was absolutely medically necessary. My midwife was just about to come to the hospital with a laboring woman, but Mike and I left before they showed up.

Hospital tour, pt 1

I just called L&D as previously instructed to see if it was a good time to come in and tour the maternity ward. The woman who answered gave a sarcastic little laugh and I thought she was about to say, "Oh honey, we just had 15 laboring women walk in through this door. You're going to have to reschedule." That I would have understood. That would have made sense. Instead she said,

"I wouldn't come if I were you. Are you a first time mother?" I said yes.

"I understand that you're excited to come and see where you'll be delivering the baby, but... honestly, what if you got into a car accident on the drive over here. Speaking as a mother, I can tell you that it wouldn't be worth it just for a hospital tour." I replied with a moment of stunned silence. She continued.

"In this weather? It's just not worth it." I looked out the window. There was a very light dusting of snow on the ground. The roads were completely clear. I told her that I was about a half an hour away and the roads here were just fine. Are they much worse in Norristown?

"I'm just saying I wouldn't drive in this weather if I didn't have to... for the sake of my baby. I'm not telling you not to come, but I wouldn't. Of course you can still come, but... I just don't think it would be worth it. With weather like this? Some nutball [yes, she said nutball] could hit you out of nowhere. I'm not saying you're a bad driver, I'm saying the nutballs out there... you just never know. And it wouldn't be worth it. Not for a hospital tour." I thanked her and said goodbye.


Of course I'm still going. There is no snow on the road. The sun is out and the snow is melting. What does she think people do in Wisconsin and Ontario and the North Pole? This is not bad weather at all. I'm not going to let any nutball keep me from taking my hospital tour. Especially not any nutball on the phone.

Remember when I was little?

About 8-12 weeks left of this business. I just had to pack away yet more clothes that I no longer fit into. I miss my old clothes. Maternity clothes are horrible. I would recommend buying in the next size or two up during clearance over buying maternity clothes. Maternity clothes are ill-fitting, unflattering, and just plain ugly.

My bellybutton continues its outward quest. It's sort of half-inner, half-outie now. Charming!




I haven't heard back from the midwives, so I assume I am diabeetus-free! Hooray! Mike and I are taking the hospital tour this Saturday morning. I hope it is super fun . I hope it isn't canceled by a sudden flood of laboring ladies. I suppose I should compose a list of questions to ask, but I have no idea where to start...

I see the baby move from the outside all the time now. It freaks me out. She gets the hiccups at night when I am trying to sleep. Do you have any idea how weird it is when something has the hiccups inside you?

I had a dream the other night that Babbit was born and despite the scans that clearly showed she was a she, she was born a he! I was very upset because I didn't have a name picked out yet, and I hadn't written my circumcision preferences in the birth plan, and how come his penis hadn't shown up on the scans? I was very concerned that he was lacking a penis. When I woke up, I told Mike about my very distressing dream and he quite calmly replied, "Well, if the baby is a boy, then of course we will name him Ephram. And if he is born without a penis, we will just leave him to the wolves."

Impending Doom Date

Aw, it's not that I'm not excited to meet the babbit, it's just that there is so much to do BEFORE her due date. I haven't even legally changed my name yet. I'm still trying to get PA auto insurance. Not to mention my PA driver's license... They don't make these things easy, do they? (It hurts that both Mike and I lost our birth certificates in the move and now must wait to receive certified copies.) I can't seem to schedule the hospital tour because the line is always busy. My camera died, so now we have to buy a new one or else have no photomemories of her first years. The baby's room is still mostly empty, she needs a new mattress, a car seat, some kind of carrying device. Actually, she needs mostly everything. I have nothing for her. Nothing at all. I feel panicky. What have we done? DooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooommmmmmmmMMMM


update: I joined freecycle.org and have calmed down. I'm picking up a bag full of baby-proofing hardware in half an hour! Yaaaay!

Nameless bjaby

No, the bjaby does not have a name yet. Yes, we have been thinking of names. It's getting old and tiresome, though. There are a lot of really great names, most of them unfit for Babbit. Here, for example, are some of my favorite girl names, none of which are Babbit's name:


Alma
Frieda
Molly
Paloma
Penny
Poppy
Susan/Susannah

I wish it was someone else's job to name the baby. I don't think I am good at proper naming. My cat's name is Psychoface. How am I in any way qualified to name a baby?