stupider and stupider

I haven't exactly had it all together since I got pregnant. It's a fact (it is!) that pregnancy hormones cause your brain to go a little soft, so I accepted the forgetfulness and spaciness as one more pregnancy symptom. Lately, however, it's gotten so bad that I feel I may be a danger to myself and/or others.

I just discovered that those maternity jeans I have been wearing for months-- the ones that keep falling down repeatedly throughout the day despite supposedly being the right size?-- have an adjustable waistband hidden on the inside.

I went to the grocery store by the hospital after my midwife's appointment to pick up something easy for dinner and settled on a frozen lasagna. When I got home, I saw that it was a meat-lover's lasagna and wanted to cry.

The other night I woke up to get a glass of water and when I poured it into a glass, I freaked out. I kept crying, "Mike, why isn't the water clear? Why isn't the water clear, Mike? What happened to the water?" Mike came to investigate and then gently informed me that I had poured the water into the glass of milk I hadn't quite finished at dinner.

I also seem to have absolutely no concept of my new dimensions. I am constantly bumping my enormous new belly into pots and pans while cooking, hitting it with doors I am trying to close, and running into corners with it when I turn around.

I miss my brain. I hope it comes back soon.


Newest pregnancy development? Constant snoring. How ladylike! I googled "how to stop snoring" and it seems the most effective way is to lose 30 pounds. I can do that! Just give me a few weeks. In the meantime, I picked up some Breathe-Right strips. Poor Mike. I hope they work!