When I was pregnant, I abhorred and despised all hygiene products. Remember? It was awful. Especially for Mike. As the trimesters went by, I tolerated more and more hygiene products, but the one that stayed absolutely awful was deodorant. Even unscented smelled (and smells) atrocious to me. This summer is getting hot, though, and I am tired of being stinky so I have been looking for a deodorant that doesn't make me want to puke. I tried 4 brands before I found one that wasn't sickening.
There's a problem, though. The bjaby hates it. The little parasite who made me showerphobic for 9 months HATES the deodorant. When I apply it, she actually starts coughing. The same little cough she does when I am chopping onions in the kitchen. Dry little "eh eh" retching noises.
Well, that's real charming coming from YOU , Bjaby. Bjaby, the one who befouls our air with toxic farts of death and decay. Bjaby, who seems to mark her territory with spit-up that reeks of bile and soured milk. Bjaby, whose dirty diapers actually make Mike gag. I'm so sorry my rose-petal scented deodorant somehow offends your delicate sensibilities.
I am not buying another stick of deodorant. We shall see who wins this battle of wills. (It will be the bjaby.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Toxic farts pretty much sums up Nora's list of proudest achievements so don't even go there. She's hurt that you insist on covering the scent that she is most familiar and comfortable with, eau de stinky armpits.
Post a Comment